How Jewish is the Queen? – Jewish News

Posted By on May 25, 2022

Adam Sandler famously sang four versions of his Chanukah song, lovingly outing any celebrity who had even a millilitre of Jewish blood. The Queen was not in any of them. I think we all agree that while our sovereign is not Jewish, we would love her to be a little bit Jew-ish.

After all, shes called her celebration a JEWbilee rather than a jamboree or a gala. Is she trying to tease us, taunt us with her however tenuous connections to Yiddishkeit? Will she be telling her guests that she doesnt want presents, but has set up a donations link with Jewish Care? Will she have a klezmer band and a revved up Israeli guy belting out: Moshiach, Moshiach, Moshiach! or will she go full philharmonic orchestra?

Sadly, we know the answers to those questions, but the lead-up has had some Jew-ish vibes. Theres been lots of tree planting (which weve been doing for years) and even some pudding making. Im not sure about you, but I would choose lokshen over a swiss roll or seven-layer amaretti trifle any day. Hardly keeping it real is it? There is some connection to the royal caterers though apparently they charge the same as our kosher ones.

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The Queen occasionally hangs out with the odd Jew and has even had a Jewish brother-in-law Anthony Armstrong Jones. He was dishy, too, bringing a very welcome bit of eye candy to the fam. However, word on The Mall was that he was certainly no mensch, spreading his kosher seed before and during his marriage to the Queens sister. Whats more, he purportedly made some rather anti-Semitic comments and wrote a note to his wife saying: You look like a Jewish manicurist and I hate you. Rude. What does a Jewish manicurist even look like?

Anthony Armstrong Jones

He and Margaret had two children, Lord Linley and Lady Sarah Chatto, neither of whom they even tried to get into a Jewish school. In those days and with their connections, they could doubtless have pulled a few strings and got them into Carmel College. Its a shame JCoss wasnt around.

One of the Queens ladies-in-waiting, Virginia Fortune Oglivy is the granddaughter of a Jew. This is handy for sourcing the best smoked salmon, but as far as we know, she doesnt seek out any other perks.

Lizzies late husband, Prince Philip, was a friend to the Jews. His mother was buried in Jerusalem and, unlike his wife, he visited Israel. Her loss on many levels, not least of which being that the Tel Aviv food scene is so hot right now.

Maam did, however, agree to her eldest son Charles having a circumcision. One could even stretch it, ouch, to say that this was a bris, given that it was performed by the mohel Jacob Snowman.

This no doubt gave a lot of credibility to the circumcision movement and fabulous free advertising. One article I read claims they saw a mohel advertising if its good enough for the royal schmeckle on the side of a bus, but there were no camera phones in those days so we do not have proof. (It is still unconfirmed whether there was bridge roll reception put on by Daniels afterwards).

There was a theory that Charles and Diana had an arranged marriage a shiddach, if you will. Diana had an eye for fashion and turned to Jewish designers Elizabeth and David Emmanuel for her wedding dress.

Queen Elizabeth, unlike many Jewish mothers of the bride, chose not to patronise After Dark in Temple Fortune, instead opting for her own dressmakers. Furthermore, she does not give her old clothes to All Aboard, but rather to her dressers, who reportedly are allowed to wear them themselves or sell them.

Elizabeth and David Emanuel

Im really struggling to find some Jewish traits. She does have a broigus-packed bunch of offspring and theres more than one in-law where the relationship has gone nicht so gut. Before Oprah got busy, she and Meghan Markle shared some lovely times together. However, as a mother-in-law she remains dignified and as far as we know, does not interfere.

Talking of in-laws, for a while there was a whole are they or arent they? thing about the Middleton clan being Jewish. Doreen Berger, chairman of the Jewish Genealogical Society, was having none of it, though and set the record straight. Crikey, the royal familys got more rumours than Fleetwood Mac. Kates brother James, however, must have been to a bar or bat mitzvah in his time though as he came up with a very simcha-esque business idea the edible selfie. His marshmallow company even once exhibited at the Jewish News Simcha show, complete with gelatine. Oy vay.

James Middleton

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How Jewish is the Queen? - Jewish News

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