Brother, sister and dementia – Stockton Record

Posted By on February 21, 2020

Academy Award-winning actress Diane Keaton recently came to Washington and stated straightforwardly before us: Now, at 71 years of age, Randy is in the process of dying.

Randy is John Randolph Hall, born March 21, 1948, in Glendale. He is Keatons younger brother, now suffering from dementia while residing in an assisted-living facility.

Keaton landed in the nations capital to discuss her new book, Brother & Sister, A Memoir, which reverberates with candor like a ringing church bell. The book focuses on her, Randy, their lives from toddlers to adulthood and mental illness.

Before a packed audience at the Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, Keaton flatly acknowledged, I wish I could have given him more love and attention.

The Hall family, at least outwardly, appeared to be a thriving household steeped in a blissful existence. Father was a successful civil engineer; mom was a doting housewife who maintained detailed scrapbooks chronicling her familys lives (Keaton also has two sisters, Dorrie and Robin). Keaton and Randy, who were close siblings growing up, bonded from their bunk beds.

But on this night at the synagogue, a substantial amount of Keatons conversation laid bare her regrets, laments and wonderings.

Keaton was the older, bossy sister and Randy would, as she explained, just tag along.

Like when they went bottle-collecting, for instance, near a California beach when they were kids in the 1950s. They took their haul to a local A&P grocery store and redeemed them for two cents a bottle. Keaton wanted to raise enough money to purchase a jewelry box.

She writes in the book, I have to confess I didnt share the money I made, but, of course, Randy didnt ask. Which made Keaton, now 74, at the time wonder why.

Keatons family once lived near an airport. Randy was deathly afraid of airplanes flying over. Also, sometimes he refused to go outside; sometimes he would flash an awkward grin at inexplicable times; sometimes he spoke of ghost sightings and macabre fantasies.

And why didnt Randy have any friends? And why did he fear the dark?

Their parents were aware of Randys unusual behavior as a youngster, but they didnt seek professional help regarding his moments of mystery. Synagogue CEO and event moderator Heather Moran asked Keaton, Do you think a factor in this was that Randy grew up at a time when mental illness was misunderstood?

Responded Keaton, My father just didnt know how to deal with it.

And it appeared that their father aimed to maintain an idyllic environment in the household, with a certain sense of order, because, as Keaton related to us: He was the boss. We, as children, did what we had to do. My father worked hard during the day, then he came home and we all had dinner together.

As he became a young adult, Randy through the years was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizoid personality disorders, in addition to bouts with alcoholism. Hes had difficulty throughout his life maintaining steady employment and was deemed ineligible for the military draft in the 1960s.

It was rough for him, Keaton told us. He lived on my fathers earnings.

Though Randy flourished as an amateur artist and poet.

Nowadays, mental illness is talked about more openly to erase the stigma, as Keaton does with her book.

And there are these sobering statistics: According to Alzheimers Disease International, someone in the world develops dementia every three seconds. The number of dementia patients in 2017 was believed to be nearly 50 million. That number is expected to reach 75 million in 2030 and 131.5 million in 2050, especially in lower- to middle-income nations.

Back home, Keaton is more attentive to Randy. I want to be a better sister, she said. More quality time as they have reconnected, like the bunk-bed days. Keaton visits Randy every Sunday at the facility; he cant speak much, cant walk much.

So, she pushes his wheelchair into the Fosters Freeze, where she orders ice cream and frozen yogurt for Randy.

Keaton remembered the time as kids when they went to a jagged dirt hill, where she pushed Randy off. He tumbled down, landing on an old sycamore log. Randy ended up breaking his leg. But he never squealed to his parents about Keatons shove.

Randy stayed loyal to me, she wrote in her book.

Now, Diane Keaton is returning the favor.

Gregory Clay is a Washington columnist and former assistant sports editor for McClatchy-Tribune News Service.

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Brother, sister and dementia - Stockton Record

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