A Jewish Guide to Dealing With Demons – jewishboston.com

Posted By on October 28, 2020

As we know from the Talmud (or as youre learning right now), each and every one of us has 1,000 demons to our left and 10,000 to our right (Berakhot 6a:4). Its totally normal, but it can get annoying. Demons can cause everything from weak knees to contaminated drinking water (Pesachim 112a:5), and some have even been known to attack a persons self-esteem with extremely sarcastic and hurtful comments (Pesachim 110a:5).

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If you feel like you may be suffering because of the demons in your life, dont worry! Just consult these easy methods to find out if you have been targeted for special demonic harassment, either at home or outside, and how to handle and resolve the situation with confidence. Remember, problematic demon attention can happen to everyone! You are not aloneliterally.

Practice social distancing

When outdoors, its best to maintain proper social distancing, as demons require space to walk around humans. Always leave at least four cubits of space around yourself to avoid making the demon feel trapped and panicky (Pesachim 111a:3). (Tip: If you are a male human, try giving women you dont know on the street the same distance and respect that you would give to a demon. Demons, women and demon-women deserve to feel safe.)

Burn cat placenta

Warning: Incredibly dangerous; do not attempt!

The Talmud provides a step-by-step process (really!) for how to actually see the demons around you. The ritual below is for educational purposes only; we dont advise you do this. Really, dont do this.

*Caution: According to the Talmud, Rav Beivai bar Abaye performed this procedure, saw the demons and was harmed. Do not actually put ashes of any type into your eyes, unless directed to do so by a human ophthalmologist with a medical degree. And even then, dont, just in case the ophthalmologist is really Lilith in a lab coat.

Conduct the footprint test

You can also use a different, much less dangerous method of determining if you have a demon in the house: Place fine ash around your bed (any you have on hand will do). In the morning, if you see footprints in it that look like chicken feet, mazel tov, you have demons (Berakhot 6a:6).

Trust home remedies

Once you have ascertained that, yes, you do, in fact, have demons in your home, the first step is always to check your mezuzah and any other amulets you have around the house. And make sure you recite the Shema before you go to bed, obviously whenever youre done doom-scrolling the internet (Berachot 5a:5).

The 13th-century grimoire of practical Kabbalah, Sefer Raziel, suggests warding off demons using a mixture of wormwood and weed, but this may backfire and end up making the demon get the munchies and want to hang out with you longer.

Take away its power

A more surefire way to solve the issue is using a formulaic incantation where you reduce the demons name until the name is gone (Pesachim 112a:5). For example, if the demons name is Kayleigh, youd say, My mother said to me to beware of Kayleigh, the demon of emotional haircut choices.

Continue the incantation by saying the demons name in shorter and shorter iterations until it gradually disappears: Kayleigh: Kaylei; Kayl; Kay; K. When the letters are gone, the demon will disappear as well. Sadly, the bad quarantine bangs you cut with a pair of blunt craft scissors will have to grow out naturallywe have no magical incantation for that.

Want to learn more about monsters and demons in Jewish folklore? Listen to our Halloween-themed podcast episode here!

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A Jewish Guide to Dealing With Demons - jewishboston.com

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