Dangers of ‘lashon harah,’ even without malice – The Jewish Star

Posted By on June 10, 2020

By Rabbi David Etengoff

Remember what the L-rd, your G-d, did to Miriam on the way, when you went out of Egypt (Devarim 24:9) is one of the Six Remembrances that many people recite at the end of Tefilat Shacharit. It is a brief reminder of a famous narrative in our parasha, Behaalotecha, that recounts the incident of Miriam and Aharon having spoken lashon harah against their beloved brother, Moshe Rabbeinu.

It must be noted that while both Miriam and Aharon slandered Moshe, Miriam began this action. This is clear from the initial verse depicting this woeful incident wherein her name is mentioned first: Miriam and Aaron began speaking against Moses because of the dark-skinned woman he had married. (Bamidbar 12:1) As a result, it is Miriam, rather than Miriam and Aharon, with whom this negative behavior is associated.

What caused Miriam, one of our seven great prophetesses (Talmud Bavli, Megillah 14a), to speak lashon harah against Moshe? It appears that she was overcome by her heartfelt emotions on behalf of her sister-in-law, Tzipporah, although this certainly does not exonerate her behavior,

According to Talmud Bavli, Shabbat 87a, Moshe ceased to fulfill his conjugal obligations to Tzipporah following the Revelation at Mount Sinai. This is something that he initially decided on his own, since at this point, he was in constant contact with the Almighty and needed to maintain a total state of taharah. It should be noted, however, that Moshe subsequently received Hashems approbation for having acted in this manner.

How did Miriam become aware of such a private change in Moshe and Tzipporahs marriage? Rashi, basing himself on Midrash Tanchuma to Parashat Tzav (13), relates how Miriam discovered what Moshe had done and the heartbreaking pain and suffering it had caused Tzipporah: Miriam and Aaron spoke: She spoke first [and was, therefore, the one who was punished]. Therefore, Scripture mentions her first. How did she know that Moses had separated from his wife? R. Nathan says: Miriam was beside Zipporah when Moses was told that Eldad and Medad were prophesying in the camp. When Zipporah heard this, she said, Woe to their wives if they are required to prophesy, for they will separate from their wives just as my husband separated from me. From this, Miriam knew [about it] and told Aaron.

Although Miriam and Aharon had no intention of harming Moshe, their actions directly diminished his status in the eyes of the nation. Rashi further explains: Now if Miriam, who did not intend to disparage him [Moses] was punished, all the more so would someone who [intentionally] disparages his fellow [be punished].

Rashis words should be viewed as a spiritual wake-up call to each of us. If Miriam and Aharon, two of the greatest leaders in the history of the Jewish people, could err so grievously, certainly we must redouble our efforts to refrain from speaking and listening to lashon harah especially in those scenarios wherein we convince ourselves we are doing the right thing. Rationalizations regarding the propriety of speaking lashon harah are completely worthless. As Rav Chisda in the name of Mar Ukba declared: Anyone who speaks lashon harah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu Himself declares: He and I are unable to dwell in the same world. (Talmud Bavli, Arakin 15b)

May the Almighty give us the wisdom to recognize the dangers of lashon harah and the endless pain and sorrow it brings in its wake. Moreover, with His help and our fervent desire, may we change our behaviors in this crucial area and do our best to avoid its many pitfalls. Vchane yihi ratzon.

Shabbat Shalom, and may Hashem in His great mercy remove the magafah from klal Yisrael and from all the nations of the world.

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Dangers of 'lashon harah,' even without malice - The Jewish Star

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