Mother and daughter share a bond through LIFE & LEGACY – Jewish Community Voice

Posted By on April 11, 2022

Atlantic County is a special place. We live in a community with a high number of LIFE & LEGACY donors, spanning multiple generations. Jewish Federation of Atlantic & Cape May Counties Co-president Lois Fried (LF) and her daughter Kathryn (KF) believe in the Jewish community and the transformational power that the LIFE & LEGACY program offers. They were gracious enough to share their feelings about the program and its meaning to the Fried family with Voice at the Shore.

Q: How has the community impacted your decision to give a gift?

A: LFMy late husband Mort and I moved here in 1969. The community has always been a huge support for my family. Ive gotten a lot of pleasure out of being here and I want my community to be here for generations to come. Ive been very fortunate and through my gift, I hope to help others, including those who might not have had the same privileges as I have had. Also, this community has never let me down and I want it to stay strong for my grandchildren and other peoples grandchildren so Judaism can continue to thrive here for future generations.

KFI grew up in this community, but have not resided here since high school. I feel it is important to give back to the community that has given so much to me and my family. Its always been a special place to me. The resources and institutions made up so much of my childhood and consequently influenced who I am as a Jewish person. I graduated from the Hebrew Academy, swam and participated in activities at the JCC, visited the seniors at Seashore Gardens, attended services at [then] Beth Judah, danced with the Torah in the street in Ventnor on Simchas Torah, attended Hebrew High, participated in NCSY, Kadima and USY, went to Israel, and can go on and on. All of this was made possible because of the community and its support for Jewish institutions and programming. Even more, it truly helped shape my youth and love for Judaism. A Legacy gift is my way of saying thank you and helping the institutions I deem most significant sustain themselves while making benefits available to others.

Q: Lois, your upbringing as a Jew was very different from how you raised your children. Can you elaborate?

A: LFI was raised in a community in North Carolina with just about 100 Jewish families. My family was not very religious and I did not have a bat mitzvah until I moved to South Jersey as a married mother. Growing up in a small town in the South was not easy. To put it in perspective, I recall my mother telling me and eventually my kids how there were some parents who did not want their children to come to my home to play simply because we were Jewish. In addition, I was the first Jewish valedictorian of my high school, and it was apparently a shock to the local community when a rabbi was asked to give the benediction at the graduation ceremony. Fast-forward, my life and my childrens experiences were completely different in this community. I finally had a bat mitzvah in 1978, when I was part of the first bat mitzvah class at [then] Beth Judah. As years went by, my late husband and I continued to instill Jewish values in our children and I know this has helped make a difference in who they are as people.

Q: Kathryn, you dont live here, but still find value in giving a gift to this community. Why is that?

A: KFI still consider this my hometown. When Im in town for Jewish holidays, I go with my mom to services at Shirat Hayam. If Ive needed to say Kaddish, I can always find a minyan, and when there have been times to rejoice, I know that it will be fun with family and friends in the community. Simply put, I can count on the Jewish community by the shore. Where else do the seagulls gobble up our symbolic sins so quickly at Tashlich? Plus, the key memories, knowledge and relationships I formed have stuck with me and still impact me to this day.

Q: Did you intentionally pass along philanthropic values to your three daughters?

A: LFI was always active in philanthropy, but it was just as important to me to spend time participating with organizations and volunteering at events. My kids needed to know that I donated my time and my money.

KFI am inspired by my mothers dedication to this community. I remember her going from meeting to meeting and serving our community in many leadership roles for as long as I can remember. She still found time for bake sales, swim meets and whatever else my sisters and I were participating in, but chose certain institutions that meant a lot to her and genuinely gave of herself. She set a great example for me growing up and still does to this day. Its important that I have seen my mom give back and help her community. Her contributions reflect her care about our community and its future. Part of her and my fathers legacy will be positively impacting the community. My sisters and I would like that to be part of ours too.

Q: Any parting words?

A: LFId just say that Im very proud and gratified that my children have grown up to be good people and they care for the future of this community. The fact that all three of my daughters have made gifts too means that my late husband and I have instilled the importance of ldor, vdor.

LIFE & LEGACY is a partnership of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation and Jewish Federation of Atlantic & Cape May Counties that promotes after-lifetime giving to benefit local Jewish agencies, synagogues, and organizations. Through training, support and monetary incentives, LIFE & LEGACY motivates Jewish organizations to integrate legacy giving into their philanthropic culture in order to assure Jewish tomorrows. If you have questions or would like to make your own LEGACY gift, please contact Samantha Hammond at samantha@jewishbytheshore.org.

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Mother and daughter share a bond through LIFE & LEGACY - Jewish Community Voice

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