My great-grandparents died in the Holocaust and were almost forgotten – Salon
Posted By admin on October 2, 2022
When I launched into "The U.S. and The Holocaust," Ken Burn's documentary exploring the United States' response to Jewish refugees fleeing Hitler, I knew I'd be seeing images that have disturbed my consciousness most of my life: flocks of German war planes against a white sky, the shattered glass of Jewish businesses, crowds celebrating the processions of Nazi troops. According to the Nuremberg Laws, I'd be classified as a mongrel, amischlingof the first degree.
Like many American children with even one Jewish parent, I dwelled on what would have happened if I had lived in the Nazi era, or if Nazis returned and took over the United States. I hold a vivid childhood memory of being awakened one night by the sound of men chanting war-like slogans, the stomp of them reverberating down our dark rural route. They were probably drunk teenagers stumbling from the nearby woods, but I was sure soldiers were coming to get us. As far as I knew then, we were the only remotely Jewish family in our small town. We were probably on a list somewhere. The Nazis would find me first, because my bedroom was on the ground floor while the rest of the family slept upstairs. I was separate. That's what this sliver of identity made me feel like.
My interest in my Jewish heritage was keen but shy. It didn't feel quite legitimate, because it was my father who was Jewish, and traditionally the identity is passed through the mother. Though my dad never hid his background, it did not have much impact on our life. I experienced Jewish traditions only in relatives' homes, in the big city of Pittsburgh, where we brought our country mouse ways to secular Seders. My hesitation to claim Jewishness also stemmed simply from not knowing enough. A voracious reader, I could usually glean a sense of things quickly from books, but something about Judaism escaped my grasp. Was religion the crucial bit? Culture? Blood? The long history of shared oppression? Where did allegiance to Israel fit? My father's careful, both-sides answers to my questions were more mystifying than clarifying.He told me that his parents, both immigrants, hadn't liked to talk about the past, so he knew little, and that his own childhood had not been happy, so he didn't like to dwell on that either.
It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned my great-grandparents had died in a concentration camp. My dad told me in a phone call: He wanted to talk about the database of dormant accounts held by Jews in Swiss banks, not aware that he had never mentioned the fate of his grandparents before. He described his mother reading aloud their last letter, in which they said they were being sent to a camp and would probably not be heard from again. They never were.
The news hit me hard. I reverberated with a sense of shock and betrayal that this information had been kept from me, their memory forgotten. After I hung up the phone, I crumpled to the floor and sobbed. A yawning grief followed me for weeks. Months. To be honest, I still sense it, a shadowy presence hovering just over my shoulder, or sometimes tucking itself beneath my clavicle, causing a tenderness in my lungs when I inhale.
I reverberated with a sense of shock and betrayal that this information had been kept from me, their memory forgotten.
My reaction to the death of these long-gone strangers seemed can still seem extreme, unwarranted, yet I can't subdue it. Perhaps the pain speaks to mystical ancestral connection of the sort in which I ostensibly don't believe, and yet seem to crave. What remains clear is that when I learned my great-grandparents were killed in a genocide it was as if Nazisdidburst into my darkened childhood bedroom. Instead of capturing me, the soldiers grabbed the two little-old people who had been hiding deep in my closet and dragged them out right before my eyes in a drama of screams and shouts, and no one not me, not my father, none of our neighbors said anything, stopped them. The fate of my great-grandparents haunted me, andI felt alone with my rootless mourning, separate again.
But I did not remain that way. A few years ago, a woman doing genealogical research contacted me. We turned out to be distant cousins through my great-grandfather's line, and our meeting caused a chain of events that led to one of my first cousins unearthing an autobiography written by my great-uncle Ludwig Engler, who is my grandmother's brother, the son of the killed great-grandparents.
Seldom have I had a more meaningful reading experience. Through Ludwig's graceful prose I finally met my great-grandparents and got to know my grandmother, who had been a distant figure to me. I also gained a view into some of the historical events that have obsessed me. Ludwig immigrated from Vienna to the United States in 1926, among the limited number of Austrians allowed entry. In his manuscript, he describes his experience during the pre-war period captured by "The U.S. and the Holocaust," whenhe wasworking as a telegraph operator:
As [the European Jews' telegrams] were almost all sent in English or German, I could read them, and the hours and days spent on the radio circuit between New York and Berlin became an almost unbearable emotional ordeal. Anybody except the most callous individual would have been moved by these unbelievably tragic telegrams in which once dignified people begged strangers for help; I had close relatives in that maelstrom and was frequently reduced to tears and sleepless nights. . .
One evening whilst at work on those pitiful telegrams, a colleague sent me a note to the effect that "Ha, ha you Jews are certainly getting it in the neck these days." I stormed over to him, beside myself with rage, and others had to keep us apart. . . The propaganda barrage from Germany, coupled with frustrations nurtured by depression, gave rise to serious political anti-Semitism within the United States, and the same sense of insecurity which I had experienced in Europe took hold of me in New York.
Thiswas what it had been like to be in the United States when the threat of Nazi invasion was nigh. Here was someone worrying about it, reacting to it, giving voice to the fear. Though I had never met my great-uncle, I felt related to him on a deep core level.
Ludwig was able to channel his distress into action when, as an army veteran, he was called up to serve in World War II. In retirement, he became a leader in his local Jewish community. Raised like me in a mostly secular household and often apart from other Jews, he brought people together to find fellowship, celebrate their heritage, and practice self-help. Through him, I feel invited to share a Jewish identity.
One thing Ludwig's autobiography did not clarify was the fate of my great-grandparents. His memory is slightly different than my father's, and he doesn't recall them announcing their departure to a camp. He just says that theyprobablydisappeared into one. The fog surrounding their precise fate reminds me that a blood tie to specific aspects of an atrocity need not exist.
What would we do if Nazis rose again today? If they came for our parents? Our grandparents? For someone else's? I still wake in the night with Holocaust fears clutching my throat. I say a secular prayer that I would have the strength to stand up and speak out, and that I would not be alone.
Read more
about families and the Holocaust:
The rest is here:
My great-grandparents died in the Holocaust and were almost forgotten - Salon
- Judaism - Wikipedia - February 11th, 2023
- The Jewish Denominations | My Jewish Learning - February 7th, 2023
- Judaism - Basic beliefs and doctrines | Britannica - January 12th, 2023
- Beliefs and branches of Judaism | Britannica - December 15th, 2022
- Judaism: Beliefs, Rituals, Celebrations And Symbols - Edubirdie - December 15th, 2022
- The Patient is best when it focuses on Judaism, not serial killers - Haaretz - December 9th, 2022
- The Great Revolt (66 - 70 CE) - Jewish Virtual Library - October 15th, 2022
- Wanting in, wanting out: Phoebe Maltz Bovy contemplates the soup of beliefs found in a new book called 'Bad Jews' - The Canadian Jewish News - October 15th, 2022
- THIS BEAUTIFUL FUTURE to Host Talkback with Jewish Faith Leaders This Month - Broadway World - October 15th, 2022
- The myth of the lost golden age - OnlySky - October 15th, 2022
- USAFA cadet forced to choose between her religion and key training told the issue is being Jewish - Daily Kos - October 15th, 2022
- The power of prayer - Cleveland Jewish News - October 15th, 2022
- Path of the Spirit: Our environment witnesses to the sacred - Las Cruces Sun-News - October 15th, 2022
- Judaism and Human Creativity - aish.com - Aish.com - October 6th, 2022
- Do Jewish converts have to believe in God? - Forward - October 6th, 2022
- 'The Patient': Why Ezra Converting to Orthodox Judaism Is Such a Big Deal - Showbiz Cheat Sheet - October 6th, 2022
- After 500 Years, Closing the Circle - aish.com - Aish.com - October 6th, 2022
- Sukkot Belongs to Every Jew - Jewish Journal - October 6th, 2022
- Judaism - InfoPlease - October 4th, 2022
- Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year in Judaism. Here's what that means - Rockdale Newton Citizen - October 4th, 2022
- Pro-abortion Stances Are the Norm Surveying Islam and Judaism - A Little Bit Human - October 4th, 2022
- As a Jewish new year begins, reflections on my career and faith | Greenbiz - GreenBiz - October 4th, 2022
- Student Voices: Celebrating Rosh Hashanah with the Second Gentleman - GW Today - October 4th, 2022
- The belated birth of a Jew - JNS.org - October 4th, 2022
- Graffiti in the Sukkah | Detroit Jewish News - The Jewish News - October 4th, 2022
- Jews. In Their Own Words. Review - LondonTheatre.co.uk - October 4th, 2022
- Calls to fear Soros and the globalists are nakedly antisemitic, and must be rejected - Colorado Newsline - October 4th, 2022
- 'Deciphering The Gospels Proves Jesus Never Existed' review: Chapter Eight - Freethought Blogs - October 2nd, 2022
- A new cookbook highlights women of the Talmud - Press Herald - October 2nd, 2022
- Messianic Jews vs. Orthodox Jews: Now a Libel Case (Over Allegations of a Non-Theological Fight) - Reason - September 27th, 2022
- Rosh Hashanah 2022: What you should know about the Jewish New Year - PennLive - September 27th, 2022
- Judaism's greatest mystery: Where are the ten lost tribes of Israel? - Ynetnews - September 27th, 2022
- How Rosh Hashanah compares to the coronation of a monarch | Opinion - Commercial Appeal - September 27th, 2022
- D.C.-based org ready to 'Gather' young Jews in Bay Area J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - September 27th, 2022
- Does pagan mean what you think it does? - Aleteia - September 27th, 2022
- This vintage video of a Jewish boys choir goes viral and you need to see it - St. Louis Jewish Light - September 27th, 2022
- Where to Worship for the High Holidays - Scarsdale10583.com - September 27th, 2022
- Martha's Vineyard and the high price of liberal Jewish 'compassion' - JNS.org - September 27th, 2022
- From the Shabba-tent: My Relationship to Judaism and the WJC Camping Trip - Wesleyan Argus - September 23rd, 2022
- Can Reform and Conservative Judaism support for Zionism be revived? - JNS.org - September 23rd, 2022
- Progressive Jewish group launches think tank to counter spread of right-wing ideas - JTA News - Jewish Telegraphic Agency - September 23rd, 2022
- Politics from the Pulpit | Detroit Jewish News - The Jewish News - September 23rd, 2022
- What Is The Significance of The Challah Cover? - aish.com - Aish.com - September 23rd, 2022
- The Mitzvah of Eating on Yom Kippur - jewishboston.com - September 23rd, 2022
- Who is the star on Rosh Hashanah; the pomegranate, apple or both? - The Times of Israel - September 23rd, 2022
- OPINION: Caught in the poignancy of an era-defining day - Jewish News - September 23rd, 2022
- How is it not our responsibility to help them?' - The Jewish Standard - September 23rd, 2022
- How Judaism and science come together every month in St. Louis - St. Louis Jewish Light - September 11th, 2022
- Concerns about Germans converting to Judaism carry resonance in land of Holocaust - The Irish Times - September 11th, 2022
- Opinion: We need stories that represent - The Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle - September 11th, 2022
- Rav Kook: The Leading Thinker of Religious Zionism - Brandeis University - September 11th, 2022
- Moroccan Muslims Are Reviving Jewish Heritage in Former Jewish Neighborhoods - The Media Line - September 11th, 2022
- The Fabelmans - Toronto 2022 - Solzy at the Movies - September 11th, 2022
- "A World Where Justice and Righteousness Prevail" in the Rosh Hashanah Amidah - Brandeis University - September 11th, 2022
- Yamma Ensemble will bring music of the Mizrahi Jewish Diaspora to Sheffield's Race Brook Lodge - Berkshire Eagle - September 11th, 2022
- To The Third And Fourth Generations - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - September 11th, 2022
- Love is a Skeleton Key - aish.com - Aish.com - September 11th, 2022
- Congress of World and Traditional Religious Leaders to Address Social Status of Women - Astana Times - September 11th, 2022
- Creators Behind FX Series 'The Patient' Explain How the Show Explores Jewish Trauma, Themes of Intolerance - Algemeiner - September 6th, 2022
- Kenden Alfond Finds Culinary Inspiration from the Talmud - aish.com - Aish.com - September 6th, 2022
- Kirtans with the Bene Israelis - mid-day.com - September 6th, 2022
- At a time of conflict, religious leaders are coming together to stand for peace - The Parliament Magazine - September 6th, 2022
- The Black Jews of Ghana who discovered their roots through a vision - Face2Face Africa - September 6th, 2022
- Opinion: When Judaism Considers the Long Term, It Looks to the Past Detroit Jewish News - The Jewish News - September 2nd, 2022
- Rabbis of LA | Rabbi Laura Geller: Seeing Everyone in the Image of the Holy One - Jewish Journal - September 2nd, 2022
- What's the Most Pressing Issue Facing American Jews? Answers from a New Generation of Jewish Leaders - brandeis.edu - September 2nd, 2022
- In Ulster County, Service Beyond Politics With A Dose Of Judaism - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - September 2nd, 2022
- Are We Ready to Show Up? - Jewish Journal - September 2nd, 2022
- Bishop Robert Stearns wants to reinvent evangelicalism without leaving it behind - Religion News Service - September 2nd, 2022
- Hillel in Hoboken: Perfect together - The Jewish Standard - September 2nd, 2022
- Liberal Jewish groups are the same as the Democratic Party - JNS.org - September 2nd, 2022
- Foley Library hosts Americans and the Holocaust traveling exhibit - Bulletin - September 2nd, 2022
- Netanyahu seeks to keep Haredi UTJ party united, but some prefer he not interfere - The Times of Israel - September 2nd, 2022
- Which Will Be Worlds Largest Religion By 2100 - NewsPatrolling - September 2nd, 2022
- Letters to the Editor | Opinion | dnews.com - Moscow-Pullman Daily News - September 2nd, 2022
- On Jews, Muslims, and Matters of Life and Death - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - September 2nd, 2022
- The Fictionalist Approach to Religion | Gene Veith - Patheos - August 30th, 2022
- The Judaism And Zionism Of David Sarnoff - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 30th, 2022
- New documentary, 'Illumination: Light of Am Yisroel on the World,' follows the stories of Jewish heroes - Cleveland Jewish News - August 30th, 2022
- Joseph D. Steinfield: Looking Back My holidays and the change of seasons - Monadnock Ledger Transcript - August 30th, 2022
Comments